Author Archives: Ezy E

V-Day

Written by Ezy E. Posted on February 10, 2010. Filed under Uncategorized. 2 Comments.

You can pretend that Valentine’s Day is a ‘load of crap and that you don’t care if you don’t get anything because like Christmas and Easter, February 14th has become just another Hallmark holiday and that you should be attentive and loving to your partner every day of the year not just the one day when it’s expected’…but seriously, fuck me if I don’t get at least a card. Flowers, chocolates, sexy lingerie, wine and perfume will also be accepted.

 

Wascly Wabbits

Written by Ezy E. Posted on January 22, 2010. Filed under Yes!. Tagged , , , , , . 1 Comment.

We’re all adults here (I hope – if you’re under 16 you’re too young to be exposed to the hideousness of ‘My New Pink Button’. Actually, come to think about it, if you’re under 65 you’re too young…). I’m just gonna come out and say it. I love sex. Being single again has given me a great opportunity – not to go out and fornicate relentlessly with anonymous strangers (not that there’s anything wrong with that, as long as you play it safe) – but to explore the wonderful world of sex toys. Stimulation/penetration/manipulation – there’s bound to be something out there that will literally ‘tickle your fancy’. Read More »

 

The post where I get all Bridget Jones on your arse.

Written by Ezy E. Posted on January 13, 2010. Filed under Uncategorized. Comments Off.

I recently went through what could be called a fairly amicable break-up. After four years together, we decided it wasn’t really heading anywhere and rather than pretend that everything was fine and stay in an unfulfilling, mediocre relationship for another 50 years, we went our seperate ways. Just because it was a mutual decision doesn’t mean it still wasn’t soul-crushing and heart-breaking, but sometimes, to quote a really lame cliche, things have to get worse before they get better.

It’s been almost a month now, and I’m starting to see the upside to being single again. Well, asides from living back at my parents’ place (temporarily). I can make out with whoever I desire, I can eat/drink/do whatever I want whenever I want to, I can be a mega-flirt and not feel guilty, I don’t have to compromise for anyone else, I can re-assess my life goals and where I’m headed and what I want to be when I grow up, coz you know, sometimes those things get a little lost when you’re in a relationship. I’m stoked in the knowledge that one day I will meet that person who share the same wants and desires as me. It’s pretty exciting.

As an afterthought,  I’d just like to say that I don’t need a man to make me happy (did I really just quote the PCD? Someone shoot me now), or a woman for that matter, but I do love the idea of eventually getting married and having babies with someone I love, trust and respect.

If you feel like you are stuck in a relationship rut, these are some funny and insightful books that helped me clarify my thoughts and provided me with some much-needed laughs:

Textbook Romance by Zoe Foster and Hamish Blake

It’s Called A Breakup Because it’s Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira-Ruotola Behrendt

The  Girl’s Guide to Surviving a Break-Up by Delphine Hersh.

I also recommend frequent lady hangs, gin & tonics, music, repeat episodes of your favourite TV shows and running (these recommendations can be combined for your convenience). Avoiding all communication with the ex is a biggie too. It’s hard at first but it will help you move on a lot quicker. If you are so inclined, getting drunk, partying and ‘pashing randoms’ like you’re 19 again may also help.

Dolly Doctor eat your heart out.

 

Vice City

Written by Ezy E. Posted on December 3, 2009. Filed under Uncategorized. Tagged , , , . 2 Comments.

 double-ba-burger2         
Why do we love the shit that’s bad for us? Do you think that if when we were younger, our parents told us that green vegetables were not good for us and that chocolate and chips were, that we’d be stuffing our face with broccoli and sprouts at every opportunity? Is it a rebellion thing? Read More »

 

SWF

Written by Ezy E. Posted on November 25, 2009. Filed under My two cents, Rant. Tagged , , , , . 6 Comments.

single-white-female

Not to be confused with the early 90s R&B girl group SWV, although it wouldn’t be unheard of to make a post about them here on Mayorettes.
No, I’m talking about style biters. Copy cats. Single White Female shiz. You know the type. You meet a girl (or a guy), maybe they’re a friend of a friend, a new work colleague, or someone from uni (hypothetically, of course). They seem nice enough but you do notice that their style is pretty nondescript, perhaps even daggy. Read More »