Old Man with Beer Gut - Revok

You know that this is my favourite type. Big arms, beer belly, stubble and capable of throwing you over their shoulder and taking you home. Gerard Butler, Jeremy Clarkson, Jason Statham, the list goes on. But my love of all things scruffy and manly has been re-awakened by a rediscovery of Revok’s blog. Should have politely asked Sanch to kidnap him when we had the chance in Brooklyn.

Douchebag - Bradley Cooper

The kind of jock fuck you hated in high school, captain of the rowing team, probably got blonde tips in their hair, six pack, tanned in Winter, arrogant cocksucker that would have been prom king if Australia was lame enough to have proms, but no matter how dumb he was or how mean he was to the smart kids you secretly you always wanted to make out with him behind the football shed.

Bradley Cooper is that man. But fuck it I’ll take him - only with a six o’clock shadow, shirt needs to be ripped, hair dirty and preferably a little blood on his face just for effect. Thankfully this is how he looks through the majority of the Hangover, one of the funniest flicks of the year, ah to be rolling around the desert with this six o’clock shadow.

Go to Jail For – Shia La Beouf

So he’s probably only a few years younger than me but fuck it. He looks about three, I’d probably have to buy him cigarettes. No matter how much eyeliner they put on him in GQ magazine I would feel like a date rapist with this kid, but it doesn’t stop the fact that there is something about him that makes me want to take that burger out of his hand and throw him against a wall.

Anyway I’ve been watching too many movies and internets and hiding from the cold. I’ve lived through many a Melbourne winter but I must say that I am officially fucking over them. Bring on Summer and bring the men out of hibernation.